wildchocolate

When I first started working for myself, the most common question people would ask me was something along the lines of “how do you stay motivated?”. If put in my position, it seemed that most people expected they would be lounging in PJ’s until noon. In their minds, once you remove yourself from a position of being managed to becoming your own boss, there’s no reason to work hard. I mean, there aren’t consequences for under-performing without a manager or performance review waiting for you, right?

This couldn’t be further from the truth. That is, for me it’s quite the opposite of reality, and I imagine the same is true for anyone who expects to be working for themselves for more than say, five minutes. But I can understand where the expectation is coming from. The real question, I think, is “how do you stay sharp without someone else managing and shaping your career”? If you are your own boss, who pushes you to become better and better? The answer is, well, you!

From where I’m sitting there are two basic motivations for those of us who are self-managed. First, the consequences of failure actually become greater when you begin working for yourself. In a traditional job you work hard, you hope someone notices, if you’re doing well you move up. That’s the expected path. If you screw up or get lazy, well then maybe you don’t get a promotion this time around, or someone scolds you in a performance review. But there’s always someone there to pick up the slack. Your manager is the one who’s ultimately responsible for your team’s performance and no one can hold you individually accountable for the successes or failures of the company.

When working for yourself, the failure falls to you, and you alone. That pressure in itself becomes a major motivator. Particularly, if you are the type of person who has pride in your work ethic and reputation, which is true for many self-managed people. If you don’t set the example, push yourself, do your best work, your team will fail. That’s a near certainty. For me, I just couldn’t let that happen. Not after risking so much and coming so far. I’d say the majority of start up founders are probably workaholics for exactly that reason (although I don’t condone overworking, but that’s another topic). If you get lazy, you’re only letting yourself down. You’re risking your own job and lively hood. If you’re bootstrapped (like my company), you’re throwing away all the equity you worked to build. But mostly, there’s just that fear of being seen as a failure. Without anyone else to blame, your company’s failure becomes very obviously yours. And everyone would see that.

The second motivational component comes not from fear, but from passion. A lot of people end up in a self-managed position as a direct result of pursuing their passions. That’s true for me. So I have this deep protective instinct toward my job. I want to preserve the ability to be my own boss, and do what I love every single day. I want it to last. I want to keep loving my job for years to come. That’s what motivates me to stay sharp. I never want to stop getting better, because I never want to wake up and have the fun job carpet suddenly pulled out from under me. You can’t achieve greatness by lounging in your PJ’s and hardly working. That just isn’t going to happen. For me, that desire to preserve the job I love is motivation in itself.

Certainly there are other factors at play like competitiveness and financial security, etc. I don’t mean to say those are the only two motivations. And what’s really fascinating to me now, is thinking about how much more the larger, more traditional companies might achieve if even half of their workforce approached their jobs the way self-managed entrepreneurs do. We all need to stay sharp and keep pushing forward, but the results are so much more powerful when that push comes from within.

The other night I was debating with a friend whether or not it was truly possible to have major success in your career without your job coming first. She believes it’s simply not possible. You’re either family oriented or job oriented, but something always must win. I was nearly persuaded. But after she left I thought about it some more, and decided it is possible to achieve major success and still put your family first. We just have different definitions of success.

What does a successful career mean to you? We tend to see people with lots of money, lots of power, lots of fancy shit, and important titles as being the definition of success. That is I suppose one way to look at it. Those people are often depicted as being on call for their job 24/7, Hong Kong on Monday, London on Friday, with never a moment’s rest. These are images that I myself am victim of accepting as what it means to be successful at one time or another.

As a little girl I remember picturing myself as CEO standing in the corner office in the high rise of some elaborate futuristic skyscraper with a headset in my ear making deals. Other days, I was a world renowned surgeon saving lives every day. Of course those are descriptions of successful careers, without a doubt. Those are also descriptions of intense, demanding careers where it is probably darn next to impossible to put your family first one hundred percent of the time. I mean, soccer practice or saving a life? Although I don’t know from experience since I’m neither a corner office CEO at a major corporation, nor a surgeon. But there are certainly a lot of other definitions of success. They’re just not as popular or glamorous.

I watched the pilot of a new show on the CW called “Hart of Dixie” and was further convinced that I was onto something. Yes, yes I know. But I love Rachel Bilson and the basic premise fits perfectly with this internal discussion I was having with myself. In the show, the character, Dr. Hart, is an ambitious, driven doctor soon to be cardio-thoracic surgeon at the best hospital in NYC who suddenly finds herself in small town Alabama as a general practitioner. The show sets you up to understand that over the course of the season she will come to realize that she doesn’t need the fancy hospital in NYC or a fancy title to be happy. In fact, that’s not who she really is inside, simply who she thought she was supposed to be.

We’re so ingrained to believe that success is defined by money, power, fancy titles, fancy houses, irreplaceable importance in an organization, etc, etc. However, those are just the most in your face types of success out there. Maybe that is how you define success. Maybe that’s what you aspire to achieve for yourself. That’s fine; I used to. Now I think of things differently, though. And I realized that my new viewpoint comes from re-defining success for myself.

When I was just starting my career out of college, I took a consulting job where I was flying back and forth to Miami every week. I worked fairly long days, pretty standard for consulting, nothing crazy. I lived in a hotel out of a suitcase that was perfectly packed every week. About one year into this, I was so incredibly miserable. That was simply not the life I wanted to live. There were more important things to me than whether the client was happy and the software was ready for “Go Live.” I wanted to cook meals with my boyfriend after work. Hell, I wanted to see my boyfriend after work. I wanted to not feel like I had to check my email over the weekend in case something went wrong or someone might need me. I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with pursuing a career in consulting. I’m simply pointing out that for me, it was not what would make me happy in life.

Shortly thereafter, I quit my job to pursue something more in line with my personal goals. I redefined success. Instead of thinking corner office at a Fortune 500 I went for 2 person indie software startup instead. I love my job now. Wherever it takes me, at least now I know what it feels like to be real with myself. Through this path over the last two and a half years, I have found a lot of success. For me, success means balancing a love of life, with a love for the work I do. It means always learning, always pushing myself, always tackling challenges, solving hard problems, all while trying to contribute useful products to people around the world. That’s my new definition of success. What’s been the most interesting part of this journey so far, is that my life is actually more satisfying now than at the fancier job. Things are not always what they seem I suppose.

So, moral of the story. Define your own success. Figure out how your life fits into it. Then pursue whatever track helps you achieve that success. Even if it means abandoning the track you’re on.

I recently read in the book, “Good to Great” by Jim Collins,  about the CEO/founder of HP, Mr. Packard. He was a wealthy and very successful man. But he went into work everyday because he had a passion for what he did. He lived in the same modest farm house after making his millions. His idea of a good time was “getting friends together to string some barbed wire ” on the farm. He wore flannel shirts and drove a regular car. When he passed away, his rather large estate was donated to charity. Mr. Packard defined success quite a bit differently than one might expect. All I can say is, that rocks.

Not the actual concept of achieving a balance of work and life, of course, that you can do. But the phrase “work/life balance” has been thrown around so much by companies that don’t have a clue what it means, touting their excellent work/life balance and benefits, that it has become virtually meaningless.

A company at which employees must fit their sick days and personal time into a set number of days in a year does not have a work/life balance. A company at which employees must request time off and hope that they are permitted to go on vacation during the time they have selected, does not have a work/life balance. A company where employees cannot easily rearrange their work schedule when something comes up at home, without feeling pressure from their manager or team, does not have a work/life balance. A company at which employees feel guilty about taking time away does not have a work/life balance. A company at which employees who wake up ill still consider toughing it out to go into the office, say it with me, does not have a work/life balance! The definition of achieving balance implies that there is equality and in all of these situations, work clearly has the upper hand. The scale is tipped in favor of the job, and the personal life must always accommodate the job.

I think we have been entering a new era, with tech leading the way, where the question is no longer how good is the work/life balance at a company, but rather how people-centric is it there. At a company that is people-centric, managers recognize that their people are all they really have, and thus treat them very well. Vacation days are available when desired, and possibly not even tracked (this is something we do at our company). The benefits are actually beneficial, with good health coverage, retirement, profit-sharing, and more. The dress code (or lack thereof) is relaxed. People-centric companies are extremely flexible because they understand that in order to attract the best people, you have to be willing to treat them like human beings, not tools.

Personal mentality also comes into play here for sure. We as a society are workaholics which can be a very unhealthy approach to life. I love my work, sometimes it’s hard to stop working at the end of the day, but we all need a line in the sand. There has to be a point at which you say “I can get to this another day, I’m going to make time for my friends and family now.” Those of use who set the example by making time for our personal lives frequently will encourage others around us to do the same. Then perhaps people-centric philosophies will become the norm.

Is your company people-centric? If not, perhaps it’s time for a change!

Before abruptly quitting my consulting gig at a large global corporation to become an indie Mac developer, I was on what they call the corporate ladder. The expression “climbing the corporate ladder” has been around forever, and is typically seen as a positive thing. It refers, as you know, to moving up the ladder (through promotions) to get as high as possible in a business. People have many different kinds of strategies for climbing the ladder. There’s the obvious way – of simply going from step to step until you eventually, hopefully, just maybe reach the corner office. Or the jumping method (popular with consultants), whereby you jump from one corporate ladder (company) to the other every few years with the point being that each jump lands you on a higher rung. (I never understood why an “Associate” consultant suddenly becomes a “Senior Associate” simply by switching companies, but it happens all the time.) Or there’s also the pulling strings method in which you use connections and networking savvy to get in with the people higher up on the ladder and maybe gain an advantage. And sometimes, people even suck up like crazy hoping this will accelerate their climb (we all know one of these types).

But what does one do at a company where there is no ladder? I’m talking about small entrepreneurial companies, like mine, where there is no reporting chain or bureaucracy. Of course, a lot of those companies will eventually grow and a corporate ladder may develop, however more and more younger founders are moving in a different direction. Realizing that there’s a reason small entrepreneurial, bureaucracy-free teams are more productive and effective… they aren’t distracted! The distraction, of course, being the politics, egomania, paper pushing, and BS associated with the ladder climb.

People seem to be a bit at a loss when confronted with a company that has no corporate ladder to climb. I think this is confusing to people and ultimately concerning. They may fear that there is no way to grow a career overtime in a small team. This is so unfortunate, because in reality, there are so many better ways to advance your career and by focusing in on moving up a ladder, people lose sight of what really matters in a career. They become obsessed with moving more and more tree branches of people underneath themselves in the reporting chain. In fact, in a lot of ways, this concept can be overwhelming and even counterproductive by forcing people to focus on the climb instead of the work they are doing. After all, there are only so many seats at the top in this kind of an organization and competition is fierce, encouraging people to cut corners. It can also be a very negative source of motivation. In my opinion, you should be motivated by passion and self improvement rather than getting a promotion. The promotion should simply be a product of your actual career development!

Bureaucracy and corporate ladders take the focus off the true goal of a career which is to grow. To grow yourself as a person, grow your knowledge, skills, and your responsibilities. Growing impacts the company and industry. It allows you to expand your reach over the customers or clients that your business serves. One good way to gage career growth is to always be learning and challenging yourself. If you have plateau’ed or become bored in your career, chances are you have stopped learning and challenging yourself.

So no, I’m not saying that big companies are evil. Nor am I implying that you shouldn’t want more responsibility throughout the lifetime of your career. I’m simply saying that you don’t need a ladder to climb or a fancy title in order to grow in your career! This advice holds even for those who are in a large traditionally structured company. Make your career about growth and the right kind of motivation and you will be successful. Also, don’t forget to keep on learning and challenging yourself. You spend almost half of your life working, after all, so make it rewarding!

After reading a fairly discouraging article on the “Dream Job Delusion” posted on LifeHacker, I felt I had no choice but to write my own rebuttal (if you will) on what it means to pursue your dream job. I simply could not let this article go without a response. Seriously! I can’t remember the last time I read an article and disagreed so strongly with practically everything that was said!

You may not be interested in reading the basis for this passionate rant, so let me just summarize the key takeaways:

- People’s “dream jobs” are really just boring regular jobs that they happen to love, so it’s “dangerous” to get your hopes up.

- Just because you dream of being a chef, doesn’t mean you will succeed.

- There’s no such thing as a “dream job” because all jobs are hard work; it’s more about your attitude and personality than the fact that you actually have a “dream job”.

- In a nutshell: Stop trying to pursue a “dream job” and just put more effort into your current career path.

Notice the use of quotes around the words “dream job”. This is to emphasize the fact that the article attacked the validity of this term. Keep in mind that this was written by an MIT postdoc who has been in academia his entire life and probably hasn’t gone from job to job or even been in industry at all. So clearly, he and I are not on the same page. Regardless, I don’t presume to know anything about the author, other than the fact that I am certain he has never experienced a dream job and would not know one if he saw it. Obviously, since he is so convinced there’s no such thing.

So as you can tell, I don’t agree. At all. But I will not be citing loosely related psychology studies in attempt to prove my point. All you get is my experience.

Dream jobs aren’t a delusion

There is nothing wrong with pursuing your dreams. So many people have success stories and happy lives because they did just that. So if it doesn’t exist, why do these stories exist? Why do some people wake up psyched to go to work, and refusing to call it a job because they love it so much? I’m sorry, but it is not as simple as those people have a better attitude. At least, that’s my take on it, you can make your own call.

In my opinion, finding your dream job is about looking inside yourself for your deepest core values. You need to find what it is that makes you the most satisfied in life. Is it helping people? Constant intellectual stimulation and rigorous academic study? Stretching your inner artist to create beauty in the world around you? For me, it’s creating a fun little software shop. Once you discover what really matters to you, what makes you happy, you can start pursuing the career that will be the most gratifying.

It is true that just because you want to be an astronaut, doesn’t mean you will succeed at pursuing that career. But if it truly is your passion, you will have an amazing amount more energy and enthusiasm to throw at making that career path a reality, than anything else you try in life. Why? Because people are ridiculously more motivated when pursuing things that they love! You will have a deep desire to make it happen. You will give it all you’ve got. And that is what will ultimately enable you to succeed. You may not be the best, it definitely will not be easy (nothing worth while ever is), and you will certainly have your struggles. But because it is your dream, you will feel satisfaction, thrill, excitement, and even hope. And those feelings will fuel you through the hard parts. Best of all, you will enjoy the entire process.

It is also certainly possible that what you consider to be your dream job, because it sounds cool, or looks good on paper, is not actually your dream job at all. And this may be the popular misconception that fueled the LifeHacker article. That is why I believe you must start with getting to the root of your inner happiness factor. When you do, it may be surprising what you find. We are always able to surprise ourselves with what we can uncover about the inner workings of our minds. Staying true to your values is not something that you can take lightly. It’s not always easy. You may not like what you find, but it will be the truth.

Finally, finding your dream job will not be something you can do at just any point in your life. I think there is a certain point, that is different for everyone, where you are ready and able to uncover your true values. For some, this will come after experiences that have revealed what you definitely don’t value, thus revealing what you do value. For others, it will be something you have always known deep down.

For me, I had to try a few career path ideas out, realize they didn’t make me happy, and figure out where to go from there. This was a somewhat confusing and painful process. When I first realized that what would make me happiest was to quit my current job, take a big risk, learn how to be a software developer, and fully take responsibility for my future, I was pretty scared. It’s not a trivial thing to give up a secure and lucrative line of work that you are good at to pursue your dreams. And I’ve written previously about how this isn’t something just anyone can do. They say the most rewarding and satisfying things in life are rarely the easy or convenient paths. So if you are the kind of person who wants to take that road, it will require courage and a lot of hard work. Because not everyone is courageous and hard working, not everyone can do it.

But finding your dream job absolutely is possible. Dream jobs do exist. I know… because I found mine.