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Not the actual concept of achieving a balance of work and life, of course, that you can do. But the phrase “work/life balance” has been thrown around so much by companies that don’t have a clue what it means, touting their excellent work/life balance and benefits, that it has become virtually meaningless.

A company at which employees must fit their sick days and personal time into a set number of days in a year does not have a work/life balance. A company at which employees must request time off and hope that they are permitted to go on vacation during the time they have selected, does not have a work/life balance. A company where employees cannot easily rearrange their work schedule when something comes up at home, without feeling pressure from their manager or team, does not have a work/life balance. A company at which employees feel guilty about taking time away does not have a work/life balance. A company at which employees who wake up ill still consider toughing it out to go into the office, say it with me, does not have a work/life balance! The definition of achieving balance implies that there is equality and in all of these situations, work clearly has the upper hand. The scale is tipped in favor of the job, and the personal life must always accommodate the job.

I think we have been entering a new era, with tech leading the way, where the question is no longer how good is the work/life balance at a company, but rather how people-centric is it there. At a company that is people-centric, managers recognize that their people are all they really have, and thus treat them very well. Vacation days are available when desired, and possibly not even tracked (this is something we do at our company). The benefits are actually beneficial, with good health coverage, retirement, profit-sharing, and more. The dress code (or lack thereof) is relaxed. People-centric companies are extremely flexible because they understand that in order to attract the best people, you have to be willing to treat them like human beings, not tools.

Personal mentality also comes into play here for sure. We as a society are workaholics which can be a very unhealthy approach to life. I love my work, sometimes it’s hard to stop working at the end of the day, but we all need a line in the sand. There has to be a point at which you say “I can get to this another day, I’m going to make time for my friends and family now.” Those of use who set the example by making time for our personal lives frequently will encourage others around us to do the same. Then perhaps people-centric philosophies will become the norm.

Is your company people-centric? If not, perhaps it’s time for a change!

After reading a fairly discouraging article on the “Dream Job Delusion” posted on LifeHacker, I felt I had no choice but to write my own rebuttal (if you will) on what it means to pursue your dream job. I simply could not let this article go without a response. Seriously! I can’t remember the last time I read an article and disagreed so strongly with practically everything that was said!

You may not be interested in reading the basis for this passionate rant, so let me just summarize the key takeaways:

- People’s “dream jobs” are really just boring regular jobs that they happen to love, so it’s “dangerous” to get your hopes up.

- Just because you dream of being a chef, doesn’t mean you will succeed.

- There’s no such thing as a “dream job” because all jobs are hard work; it’s more about your attitude and personality than the fact that you actually have a “dream job”.

- In a nutshell: Stop trying to pursue a “dream job” and just put more effort into your current career path.

Notice the use of quotes around the words “dream job”. This is to emphasize the fact that the article attacked the validity of this term. Keep in mind that this was written by an MIT postdoc who has been in academia his entire life and probably hasn’t gone from job to job or even been in industry at all. So clearly, he and I are not on the same page. Regardless, I don’t presume to know anything about the author, other than the fact that I am certain he has never experienced a dream job and would not know one if he saw it. Obviously, since he is so convinced there’s no such thing.

So as you can tell, I don’t agree. At all. But I will not be citing loosely related psychology studies in attempt to prove my point. All you get is my experience.

Dream jobs aren’t a delusion

There is nothing wrong with pursuing your dreams. So many people have success stories and happy lives because they did just that. So if it doesn’t exist, why do these stories exist? Why do some people wake up psyched to go to work, and refusing to call it a job because they love it so much? I’m sorry, but it is not as simple as those people have a better attitude. At least, that’s my take on it, you can make your own call.

In my opinion, finding your dream job is about looking inside yourself for your deepest core values. You need to find what it is that makes you the most satisfied in life. Is it helping people? Constant intellectual stimulation and rigorous academic study? Stretching your inner artist to create beauty in the world around you? For me, it’s creating a fun little software shop. Once you discover what really matters to you, what makes you happy, you can start pursuing the career that will be the most gratifying.

It is true that just because you want to be an astronaut, doesn’t mean you will succeed at pursuing that career. But if it truly is your passion, you will have an amazing amount more energy and enthusiasm to throw at making that career path a reality, than anything else you try in life. Why? Because people are ridiculously more motivated when pursuing things that they love! You will have a deep desire to make it happen. You will give it all you’ve got. And that is what will ultimately enable you to succeed. You may not be the best, it definitely will not be easy (nothing worth while ever is), and you will certainly have your struggles. But because it is your dream, you will feel satisfaction, thrill, excitement, and even hope. And those feelings will fuel you through the hard parts. Best of all, you will enjoy the entire process.

It is also certainly possible that what you consider to be your dream job, because it sounds cool, or looks good on paper, is not actually your dream job at all. And this may be the popular misconception that fueled the LifeHacker article. That is why I believe you must start with getting to the root of your inner happiness factor. When you do, it may be surprising what you find. We are always able to surprise ourselves with what we can uncover about the inner workings of our minds. Staying true to your values is not something that you can take lightly. It’s not always easy. You may not like what you find, but it will be the truth.

Finally, finding your dream job will not be something you can do at just any point in your life. I think there is a certain point, that is different for everyone, where you are ready and able to uncover your true values. For some, this will come after experiences that have revealed what you definitely don’t value, thus revealing what you do value. For others, it will be something you have always known deep down.

For me, I had to try a few career path ideas out, realize they didn’t make me happy, and figure out where to go from there. This was a somewhat confusing and painful process. When I first realized that what would make me happiest was to quit my current job, take a big risk, learn how to be a software developer, and fully take responsibility for my future, I was pretty scared. It’s not a trivial thing to give up a secure and lucrative line of work that you are good at to pursue your dreams. And I’ve written previously about how this isn’t something just anyone can do. They say the most rewarding and satisfying things in life are rarely the easy or convenient paths. So if you are the kind of person who wants to take that road, it will require courage and a lot of hard work. Because not everyone is courageous and hard working, not everyone can do it.

But finding your dream job absolutely is possible. Dream jobs do exist. I know… because I found mine.